Advice for Lonely Young Men
Find a girl and stop being so goddamn lonely.
Have another drink and get the fuck over it.
Talk to the waitress at the diner about God.
Find yourself a cat and pretend that it loves you.
Don't tell that girl on the phone how you really feel,
Just indicate your interest through your tone of voice.
Then masturbate before you go to sleep each night.
Whatever you do, don't write any poetry.
Playing the piano is much preferable
And easier to listen to than your whining.
Get some potted plants; keep them on your fire escape.
And for, Christ's sake, smile when you water the damned things.
Plan every night around what's on television.
Never get too excited about anything.
Luke Stromberg's work has appeared in several literary journals and has also been featured on multiple occasions in The Philadelphia Inquirer. He lives in Upper Darby, PA and works as an adjunct English instructor at Eastern University.